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People fantasize about a lot of things: a no-expenses-barred vacation in Bora Bora, finally getting promoted to the corner office, one full day where no one wants or needs a single thing from you… And fantasizing about those things are fun, because you just might get them one day. And, sometimes, those fantasies can be a little troubling—like, say, fantasizing about having sex with someone besides your partner.


For her portrait, she wears a necklace shaped like one.

Crucial, too, says Martin, has been the work of Rosemary Bassonwho realised that spontaneous desire, the kind sexologists had measured for years, was only one type of relevant desire, and that responsive or triggered sexual response is much more important for women. You have to scroll through another 25, including Sigmund Freud and Alfred Kinsey, before you arrive at a female name: Mary Calderonewho championed sex education.

In fact, argues Martin, the exact opposite is the case. Men are shocked, but also gratified and thrilled, when they find out how sexually exciting we can be when we get past the inhibitions that have been socialised into us.

8. making love in a romantic location

A thrilling activity is ideal: it can give you a wash of hormones that makes you feel new to each other again. Joanna Moorhead. The trick here, counsels Martin, is for them to keep on and on asking. Measured on that scale it turns out that women are, in fact, every bit as sexually arousable as men.

And there are all these new vibrators out there — and anything new you can introduce will make a big difference to your sex life. Martin pulls no punches. What does all this mean, in a practical sense, for our sex lives?

Listen up men, here’s how you can please your woman in bed.

Her bestselling memoir Primates of Park Avenue cast her as an anthropologist observing the habits of her Upper East Side neighbours. Why does that help?

And even in the subsequent 30 names there are only five women, including both Virginia Johnson partner of the famous, and male, William Mastersand Shere Hite. Her new book, out this week, should be equally provocative.

Instead of being the brake on passion, says Martin, the female half of the long-term partnership is the key to a more adventurous and exciting sex life. Another element in the mix, she says, was the finding that a third of women who are having an extramarital relationship say their marriage or long-term partnership is happy or very happy.

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Self and wellbeing Sex. A strong libido and bored by monogamy: the truth about women and sex. W hat do you know about female sexuality?

The answer might surprise you…. Sat 13 Oct Reuse this content. The book caused a furore, and is currently being developed as a TV series, with Martin as exec producer. And that, says Martin, is hugely ificant.

New women


A woman enjoys sex as much as a man but that can only happen when you pay attention to her needs in bed.


You can change your city from here.


Allow us to let you in on a rather depressing secret: the majority of us are having mediocre sex.